The stories in this page are works of amateur, non-profit fanfiction. No infringement upon the rights of Sunrise, Sotsu Agency, Asahi TV, and Bandai Visuals is intended.
18-Jul-2000
This is just a silly little something I wrote a few days ago based on some of my experiences with going out to rent movies with a group of friends. The 'guy' that bothers Wufei actually exists; he's probably stalking people in a video store somewhere *right now*. Oh, and the movie "976-EVIL" is real too, unfortuneately.
<Our heroes are all standing around in their living room, contemplating watching a little T.V.>
Quatre: Maybe we could find a good movie on HBO?
Duo *That's* not very likely.
Quatre: Why not?
Duo Last night, the only thing Heero and I could find to watch was "976-EVIL". It was the *worst* movie I've ever seen! Some guy got possessed by the devil and then went around scratching people to death.
Quatre: How horrid! I'm glad I didn't watch this; I would have had nightmares for weeks!
Trowa: Now, don't be such a wuss! It sounds like it was a *very* cheesy movie!
Quatre: WELL! Next time you want to snuggle up on the couch and watch a video, you can ask someone else!
Trowa: Huh! Maybe I will!
Quatre: Fine!!!!
<Quatre and Trowa both storm off.>
Wufei: This sounds like it was a pathetic attempt at a movie.
Heero: I didn't know you even liked movies, Wufei.
Wufei: Sure.
Duo Cool! We should all go rent a movie at BlockBuster together!
Heero: That's not a bad idea...
Duo I'll go get Quatre and Trowa!
Wufei: Careful, Maxwell...you know how the two love birds are when they've been fighting.
Duo Oh, they're *always* fighting...it's kinda cute, ne?
Wufei: Humph!
Heero: Hn...if you say so.
<Duo runs off to find the other two boys>
<Having found Quatre and Trowa, Duo convinces them to come to the video store with them, promising Quatre that he doesn't have to sit next to Trowa in the car ^_^;; >
<In their patented Seats Five People In The Front Seat Van, the boys set out for BlockBuster>
Heero: <driving> Ah, this should relieve a little bit of the stress we've been under.
Wufei: Yeah, I could go for a good Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan movie.
Duo Oh GOD! Not a fighting movie; how 'bout a good ol' death and destruction type flick...one where everybody dies a fiery death!
Quatre: Can't we just get a nice romance?
Duo I thought you and your koi were fighting? What the hell do you want a romance for?
Quatre: <smiling evily> I just like to see all the nudity and sex; Trowa's such a bean pole, it's nice to see *somebody* with a nice body once in a while.
Trowa: <obviously pissed, but hiding it fairly well> Ha! You should see me in Endless Waltz! But a tragedy would be nice.
Quatre: HA! I should have known you'd want something like that. Can you *even* smile?!
Heero: <whirling his head to look at the two> No fighting in the car! Don't *make* me pull over!
Duo <making a motherly voice> Listen to your father...you know he means it.
Wufei: <rolling his eyes> Oh Nataku...
Duo Are you swearing young man?
Wufei: KISAMA! I said "Nataku" not "fuck you"!
Duo <clasping a hand to his chest> I hope your father didn't hear that!
<the boys arrive at BlockBuster, each running off in separate directions>
Heero: Ahhhh...Charles Bronson, where are you?
Duo Swartsaneiger [That can't be spelled right]...Stalone...Willis...I'm in *heaven*!
Trowa: Now, where's the classic Shakespeare section?
Quatre: Look! They've got Eternal Flame of Love, volumes 1-25!
Wufei: Where's the Action/Adventure section?
<five minutes later, they all meet up at the check out line>
Quatre: I'm *so* happy! I found all twenty-five volumes of Eternal Flame of Love *and* the Secret Love of My Heart trilogy!
Trowa: Humph! Nobody wants to see that sissy crap! Look what *I* got! Hamlet, Macbeth, *and* Julius Ceasar!
Wufei: Lord, you're going to bore us to death!
Quatre: Yeah, if you were gonna' get Shakespeare, you could have at *least* picked up a copy of Romeo and Juliet!
Trowa: Well, they *do* die at the end, but it's just too sappy...you know, that kind of thing is for girls!
Quatre: <turning up his nose and giving Trowa the silent treatment>
Wufei: I, as usual, have found the *perfect* movie. I found the *original* Kung Fu! This is the epitome of martial arts movies!
Heero: Hn. Fighting's pretty good, but what I found tops that. It's the ultimate in video experiences...the revenge movie.
Wufei: What did you get?
Heero: <grinning maniacally> Death Wish...and Death Wish 2, Death Wish 3, Death Wish 4...
Duo <sweatdropping> Ah, does anyone want to hear what I found?
Heero: Death Wish 5, Death Wish 6...
Quatre: Sure, why not? It couldn't be any worse than what *these* three got.
Duo Well, the movies you guys got are alright, but, my favorite type of movie is one where lots of things get blown up...
Heero: Death Wish 7, Death Wish 8...
Minna: <sweatdropping> Ahhhh....
Duo <glaring at Heero> *Anyway*, I found copies of Leathal Weapon, Terminator 2, AND ....
Heero: Death Wish 9, Death Wish 10, ...
Duo <trying to ignore Heero> Earthquake!
Quatre: God damn! All that has is stuff exploding!
Duo *Ex*-actly!
Wufei: That sounds a lot better than what you got, sissy!
Trowa: <glaring at Wufei> Hey, I'm the only one who gets to call him that!
Quatre: <thrilled> You *do* still care about me! Trowa!
Trowa: Quatre!
Quatre: My love!
Trowa: Koi!
Wufei: Let's get out of here before someone throws us out!
Heero: Death Wish 11, Death Wish 12...
Duo I see what you mean...I don't see any cashiers; hmmm...
<as the boys try to find someone to 'check them out' [don't be thinking hentai thoughts, even though *I* am]...>
Wufei: <standing next to the New Releases, idly looking at them while the others search for a checker>
Guy: Pst!
Wufei: <turning to look at the guy> Huh?
Guy: That's a *good* movie <points at some video about the mating of whales>
Wufei: Ah, actually, I don't think I'd enjoy this particular...
Guy: God! That movie sucks!
Wufei: But you just said...
Guy: <looking at the tapes Wufei happens to be holding> Aahhh...you like Kung Fu? That totally kicks *ass*!
Wufei: Yeah, well, thanks for your concern...
Guy: Have you ever seen that show that comes on t.v with Chuck Norris...Walker, Texas Ranger?
Wufei: Walker? I didn't know he was from Texas...
Guy: So, ever see it?
Wufei: It doesn't really sound like something...
Guy: <looking nervously around the store> No WAIT! I was kidding! It's a *terrible* show...ah, so, you *like* Kung Fu...how about other Karate stuff?
Wufei: There are several martial arts, one of which *is* K...
Guy: No, no! I agree with you; yes, I agree with WHATEVER you say! Ha ha ha! Yes, yes...you and me get along like THIS <holds up his hand and crosses two of his fingers together>
Wufei: <sweatdropping> Ah, I think I've got to go find my friends...
<Wufei runs off to find the others, nearly running into them as they approach the check out with a young woman who *appears* to work there.>
Wufei: Thank God! There was some nut who works here hounding me...
Woman: Was he tall with dark hair and blue eyes?
Wufei: I think so; why?
Woman: <nodding her head knowingly> He doesn't work here...god, this is the third time this hour that he's attacked someone. I'm *really* sorry, sir.
Wufei: Ah, yeah...
Woman: Let me make it up to all of you by letting you rent these tapes for free. What all do you have?
Heero: And Death Wish 24, Death Wish 25...
Duo <nervously> Actually, we've got quite a bit...
Woman: <still determined> No problem; just let me ring these up.
Back home...
Duo Okay, first up is...<reaching into a bowl full of slips of paper; he draws out one, reads it to himself and makes a face> God damn! Eternal Flame of Love, Vol. 15!
Minna: <groaning>
Wufei: Kisama! Shouldn't we at *least* watch the stupid series in order?
Quatre: <beaming happily> Nah...it doesn't matter; they don't have anything to do with each other.
Wufei: God no...
Trowa: <wisely not joining in the dissing of his boyfriend's movie> Well, let's get started, then!
Quatre: <demurly> Can I sit in you lap, Tro-chan?
Trowa: <thinking that this movie's not going to be as bad as he first suspected> Of course, love.
Wufei: <grumpily> Any funny stuff during the movie, and I'm going to perform along when we watch Kung Fu!
Duo <eyes widening> I think he means it guys...
Trowa: Not to worry, Wufei; *we* can control ourselves. <shoots Duo and Heero a severe look>
Duo Was that directed at us?
Heero: <smirking> That sounded like a challenge to me.
Trowa: Maybe it was...
Wufei: <brightening up> Okay then! The first couple to 'lose control' has to polish everyone elses' Gundams with a toothbrush! And *I* get to be the judge!
<Trowa, Quatre, Duo, and Heero all share concerned looks.>Quatre: We accept the challenge!
Trowa: <in a harsh whisper> Quatre! What are you doing? You *know* what these movies do to you!
Quatre: Relax, I can take it.
Trowa: Well...
Duo Yeah, well, so can we!
Heero: <glaring at the boy> Duo...I don't think this is such a good idea...
Duo Piece a' cake! We'll probably fall asleep after the first five minutes, anyway.
Wufei: <grinning wickedly> Alright then...let's begin.
Two hours later...
Wufei: <grumbling as he spit shines one of DeathScythe's feet> Why me?
Quatre: Well, *this* bet turned out weird!
Trowa: I never would have thought.
Heero: Hn. Most interesting turn of events.
Duo I can't *believe* that Wufei got excited by that crap...who knew he liked romance movies?
Quatre: <blushing> Yeah, he likes them a *lot*.
Trowa: Ah, yeah, well; he *sure* does.
Heero: When he's done with the Gundams, maybe we should all go watch Eternal Flame of Love again.
Duo <brightening> Yeah...and this time, Wufei gets to sit next to *me*!
OWARI
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