May 2000
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit work of amateur fiction. It is not intended to infringe upon the copyrights of Anne Rice, Random House, Knopf, or anyone else who might care.WARNING: This spec contains adult material. S&M and sexual situations between a consenting mortal and a vampire. If you don't like this stuff, you better not read!
SPOILERS: Minor references to Queen of the Damned and Interview with the Vampire.
Dedicated to: Stephanie, my Daniel in drag. ;)
Exquisite Pain by DaMoyre
"Now, tell me how much this hurts, Daniel," Armand said softly.
The room was dark, the smell of blood and sex heavy in the air. Daniel's unclothed body was sprawled across the bed, his hands resting behind his head on the wooden headboard. He was completely relaxed as he admired the figure of the immortal youth above him. Armand was straddling his waist, holding a candle aloft. His dark eyes glimmered under dim candlelight with a spark of curiosity.
"Must we really do this?" Daniel asked, guessing Armand's intentions.
"You don't want to?" Armand lifted his hand until the candle fully illuminated his face; a face that was white, flawless, and radiant. The effect of the candle on his skin was fluorescent and his dark, almond shaped eyes matched comely with auburn curls hanging loosely, framing the cherubic features. Daniel observed in silence, the thing, the monster sitting right there, in front of him, wearing the red silk bathrobe they had purchased only a few days earlier. How much he loved him. How much he hated him.
He felt one of Armand's cold hands on his chest, the other still raised above his head, holding the candle. Their eyes locked. The vampire's stare was hypnotizing and Daniel could not resist him. He felt his will wavering.
Damm him.
Armand cocked his head to the side and stared at Daniel. How interesting this creature was, how very simple and complicated at the same time, how defiant yet submissive. This mortal man, this human, so fragile that he could kill him without much effort. He could crush his skull with one single blow; he could strangulate him with one hand; or he could drain his blood and leave him lifeless and dry on a dark, lonely street. But he would not kill him. Not anymore. No, this one was special. The vampire had grown to love this one. For his physical beauty, and for the defiance of his expressive violet eyes, for his mouth that would curse at him some times, and beg to give him the gift some others. He loved his mind, body, and soul. He so loved his Daniel, his link to the new era.
"Go ahead," Daniel said, resigned. He knew that if he didn't give in now, Armand would come up with another idea. And Daniel would volunteer to help him experiment, no matter what it was. He closed his eyes and waited for Armand to proceed.
Armand smiled. He lowered the candle to Daniel's chest and allowed a few droplets of hot wax to drip, carefully examining the patterns that formed on the mortal body. Daniel flinched, slightly clenching his fists. He pushed his head further back into the pillow and turned his face to the side, moaning softly.
"Are you all right, Daniel?" Armand asked gently. He almost sounded concerned.
Daniel opened his eyes and looked at him. Would it make a difference? If he told him that he was not all right, would he stop? Probably not. Armand would certainly find the situation even more fascinating if Daniel offered a little resistance. It would be a game of predator and victim, the eternal game with Armand.
But the truth of it was that Daniel didn't want him to stop. He liked the feeling of Armand's weight over his body, and the mixture of fear and desire that Armand inspired him. He was under his control, surrendering to the vampire in complete abandonment. Absolute bliss.
He felt the gentle torture once more. The wax rivulets trickled over his chest, sending shivers up his spine, and he allowed the ecstasy of the moment to overtake his body, listening to the eerie sound of the fire consuming the candle. Exquisite pleasure. Exquisite pain.
Daniel closed his eyes.
The mortal body felt very warm against the cold skin of Armand's leg. He liked the feel of it, so smooth and alive, very unlike his own hard, cold, dead limbs. Daniel's flesh was soft, warm and almost pink; the tender nipples, just a shade of beige, and how the pale wax glimmered on his chest. Armand allowed the wax to flow on Daniel's skin, almost like a river. Liquid fire.
He could hear Daniel's soft moans, feel the slight muscle contractions as the droplets of wax touched his skin. Daniel's heart was racing and Armand could hear the rhythmic drumming of his pulse, feel the blood rushing through his veins.
"Daniel," he whispered.
Daniel opened his eyes very slightly. His lips were parted and dry, so he moistened them with the tip his tongue. He threw his head back and closed his eyes to enjoy his sweet torture, muffled sighs escaping his lips. He experienced the tickling butterfly feeling in his stomach, running up and down his legs, and then towards his back. Blood rushing through his body, slowly building inside of him, a stampede towards his manhood.
Armand felt the hardened muscle pulsating against his skin. Pleasure. No pain. He focused his eyes on Daniel's erected nipples and pinched one and then the other very softly. He held the candle away, lowering his face until their lips slightly touched, teasing with his tongue for a moment, and then retracting, leaving Daniel with an open mouth. A heavy sigh escaped Daniel's lips.
"Damn you, Armand," he muttered under his breath.
The hot wax on his chest again. He grimaced a little as this time the flame touched his skin. A stifled cry came from his lips, his forehead soaked in salty sweat, a crystalline tear rolling down his cheek.
No pain. No pain.
Daniel moaned. Armand was lowering the candle closer to his skin, and he felt the flame caressing his chest, and then his stomach. He was breathing hard, his ribcage very visible as it contracted and expanded. He arched his back, raising his upper body and clenching his fists.
Armand could feel the human organ enlarging and hardening even more each time the skin was charred by the flame. The naked body that lay on the bed, so wrapped in the sensory experience and so vulnerable, made Armand tremble himself. Then he felt Daniel's penis contract, and the warm, viscous liquid shot against his cold skin. Daniel moaned softly, a breaking tremor in his legs, and then silence.
Armand felt an electrifying sensation, sheer excitement. His immortal body ached for the sensations that only a mortal creature such as Daniel could experience. Hearing the boy's soft panting, Armand narrowed his eyes and smiled. He brought a hand to Daniel's face, and caressed his cheek, cold fingers lingering on warm skin.
Daniel, my Daniel.
Armand's hand trailed off towards Daniel's forehead to wipe the sweatdrops. "Enough," he said quietly as he blew out the candle and set it on the night table. His white hand reached for the lamp and turned it on, immediately dimming the light; but Daniel turned his face to the side to avoid the glow, still too bright, much brighter than the soft flame of the candle. He took a deep breath, trying to control his spasmic respiration.
Damn you, Armand.
Armand leaped out of the bed and stood next to it, observing Daniel. His penis was beginning to relax, slowly returning to its natural form. Daniel had obviously enjoyed the hot wax. And if the wax had been so pleasurable, then perhaps...
Armand opened the drawer of the night stand, searching for something. Daniel turned around to stare at Armand, his breathing still accelerated, wondering what the vampire could possibly be looking for.
It didn't take long. Armand now held a pack of Marlboro's and Daniel's lighter on his hand. He took out a cigarette and placed it on the mortal mouth. "Light this for me!" he demanded. He held the lighter, tiny blue flame, close to the cigarette.
Daniel looked at him in horror. He knew what Armand meant to do, did he not? Daniel felt the hair in his arms stand up, a chilling sensation washing over him. He swallowed hard as he looked at Armand. And then that exuberating sensation, arousal, overcame him once more, beginning as a shiver up his spine, then the soft butterflies kissing his stomach. He was terrified by his own excitement.
"Light it for me," Armand insisted.
"Why can't you light it?" Daniel protested, but held the cigarette with his hand and accepted the fire Armand offered, inhaling deeply.
When it was lit, Armand took it away. He held it with two thin, elegant fingers, the smoke floating up before his eyes. He cocked his head a little and looked at Daniel laying on the bed, nude and helpless.
"You belong to me, beautiful child," Armand said. "My Daniel."
Monster, Daniel thought, the memory of their earlier conversation playing in his mind.
Why was Armand so fascinated with all this? He had been pouring hot wax on himself earlier and then he had decided to experiment on his mortal.
"It won't be the same on a mortal body," Armand had said. "The level of pain experienced... how much will it differ? We experience everything in a magnified form. So would pain be also magnified for us? We heal quickly but that doesn't mean we don't experience pain. And how is pain linked to pleasure? Why is it that a beating replaces sexual foreplay for some men and women, that they experience pleasure and sexual climax only through pain? And how does fear influence the reaction to pain? Is pain merely psychological or is it really physical? And what about past experiences of pain? Would they also come into play to cause a reaction?"
And Armand had continued with his never-ending chain of questions. Daniel only slightly nodded to let him know he was listening, leaning back against the bed, and rubbing his tired eyes. Armand always liked talking about things when Daniel wanted to sleep. He held a cigarette in his hand and took a long drag, then allowed the ashes to fall on the carpeted floor of their hotel room.
"What do you think about all this, Daniel?" Armand's voice rang in the room, the typical enthusiasm of his search for knowledge and understanding of man.
"I don't know," Daniel had replied. Looking up at Armand for a brief moment and taking one more drag from his cigarette.
"But you must tell me! What do you think about it all? About the link between pleasure and pain. And why is it that some can tolerate more pain than others? Does it denote physical or psychological strength? Or both?" Daniel sighed heavily; a small yawn escaped his lips. "What do you think?" Armand insisted.
"Fine," Daniel said. He stood up and began pacing the room. "What do I think about pain?"
Armand nodded. His eyes lit with anticipation, waiting for his beloved mortal to give him an insight into the minds of men. He loved to hear Daniel talk. Sometimes it was war; sometimes it was history, or technology or science. Sometimes, it was fashion or literature. And now he wanted to know about pleasure and pain, and would Daniel help him to understand.
"I think you're a royal pain in the ass. That's pain, Armand. Looking at you, talking to you. That's pain," Daniel had answered. He looked at Armand, arching an eyebrow. How surprised Armand had been by his response. Obviously not the answer he was looking for.
Armand's dark eyes fixed on him with a blank expression. And then the silky laughter. Musical. Dark. Seductive. He looked so human when he laughed, the muscles of his face changing, transforming from a hard marble mask into the smile of a youth. And Daniel loved it.
The cigarette was running out, the ashes still falling on the carpet. So Armand picked up an ashtray from the floor and handed it to him. Daniel nodded, and taking the ashtray, he walked over to the window. There, he took another drag of his cigarette and put it down on the crystal bowl before he began speaking.
"Pain and pleasure are just different sides of the same coin, Armand. Seeking pleasure is living in eternal sorrow. That's why there's much pleasure to be found in pain." He paused for a moment and inhaled once more. He let the smoke exit his mouth in tiny circles, allowing some to come through his nose.
"Pain is subjective. But it is as physical as it is psychological. Our body knows no more than what the nerves translate into what we call emotions or feelings. And it is what the mind does to feelings that becomes pain. Feelings are just what they are, when the mind evaluates a feeling, then we get pain and pleasure as results. And yet, what some call pain, others call pleasure." Daniel looked at Armand.
Still not satisfied.
So he continued, "Pain brings a twist into pleasure. And fear, yes, fear is a part of pain... it's part of the pleasure. It's the unexpected, the thrill of the surprise. When you're not fighting pain, then it can't be as painful. It's all about detachment. Pleasure, pain," Daniel waved his hand slightly. "It really is an art, Armand, combining the two just to the right measure."
The cigarette had burnt out. Daniel reached to the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out another. He lit it and turned around to look at Armand, but Armand had grabbed the cigarette out of Daniel's hand. He sat on a chair and asked Daniel to record with a camcorder as he slowly burnt himself with cigarettes, watching in awe as his skin blistered and then quickly healed after only a few minutes.
And now it was time to test his experiment on mortal skin. How different would it be? How much more damage could the cigarette cause on Daniel's soft skin?
Daniel didn't need to guess Armand's intentions. He knew what was about to happen, and he was frightened. But despite this fear, he lay still on the bed, showing no sign of resistance.
Armand stared at him with interest. How beautiful the human body, so complex and wonderful, everything in place. His long white arms, lean strong legs; his face that was innocent and perverted at the same time. Armand sat on the edge of the bed, still holding the cigarette, and ran his hand down Daniel's arm.
No. No! Daniel wanted to scream, but his lips were sealed by invisible restraints.
No...
A lash against his chest, tearing his skin open. A white maggot penetrating his chest with sharp blazing teeth. Pain. No pleasure. Daniel winced, and contortioned in the bed, his mouth opening in what could have been a scream.
Armand observed with interest, noticing the way in which Daniel moved this time. The pain was more intense; that was very clear. But then, wouldn't the pleasure also be magnified?
Daniel moaned, bringing his hand to the wounded arm. He looked at Armand for just a second and then closed his eyes again.
Bastard...
Armand launched his missile once more, this time targeting Daniel's chest, burying the cigarette just a little deeper in the skin.
"Aaahh," Daniel winced. He pressed his hand on Armand's thigh.
The press of Daniel's hand on his leg. Did he want him to continue? Armand stared at the man before him, his eyes closed tight, his mouth a little open... Did he like this?
Armand closed his eyes and tried to reach inside of Daniel's mind, to feel what his mortal boy was feeling. He needed to know, wanted to know! But he found a solid wall between them, a wall that was dark and silent and kept him from seeing what he wanted to see. Armand withdrew wordlessly and continued his experiment.
Daniel felt the burning cigarette on his skin time after time again. The pain was overwhelming and Daniel could not think of anything else, only feeling relief as Armand paused in between each burn for fractions of a second. The fear was building up within him. How much longer till the next strike? And how long would the torture last this time? He felt the moisture of tears filling his eyes, muffled sobs escaping his lips.
And the pain again. The cigarette burning the soft mortal skin. Time after time. The vampire looked for signs of pleasure and could find none.
"Daniel?" Armand said softly. He wondered if this was something Daniel would eventually enjoy; the way he had enjoyed the wax on his skin, so much, that it had brought him to climax.
It had been a cold night. Or maybe it had been a warm night, and he had followed the stranger to a dark room in Divisadero street. And there, he had revealed his secret, the story of his life. He was not human. A vampire. His skin had been white and perfect, his eyes green like emeralds, deep like the sea... How poetic.
The cigarette burning his skin again. Blisters forming across his chest and along his arms already. And now it was his stomach, the unharmed skin of his stomach. He felt the blow and couldn't help it anymore. He screamed.
A dark basement. There were sounds of water. The water pouring. It was water, was it not? And the stench. His own urine and feces impregnating the tiny space to which he had been confined. And the insects that would not leave him alone. They were biting him everywhere. And there were rats! He could heard them shrieking in the distance. And why couldn't anyone hear him? Get me out of here! I'm not gonna die, am I? It can't end like this!
"Daniel?" Armand looked at him with deep concern.
Yes. My name is Daniel Molloy. I came searching for Lestat but found you instead and won't you give me the gift? You must be Armand. But you're not going to kill me are you? You're going to let me live like this. You're going to make me suffer. You will tantalize me with immortality but you will never give it to me, will you? And you will watch me grow old and you will watch me die, and you will enjoy it!
Son of a bitch!
He was sobbing, feeling the open wounds on his skin. The pain had been so intense and now there was but a numbing sensation. His mind had blissfully taken the pain away. It didn't hurt anymore. It didn't matter.
"No more," he whispered.
"No more," Armand replied. He was breathing hard. It was not meant to be this way. He had not meant to harm him, no! He slit his wrist and allowed the magic blood to flow out of his veins, crimson droplets falling on Daniel's raw skin. Slowly, the healing blood penetrated all the wounds. The new skin formed quickly, first bright pink and then returning to its original pallor.
It really is an art, Armand, combining the two just to the right measure. Daniel's words rang in Armand's head.
He had failed.
Armand held Daniel in his arms and kissed him softly on the lips. "Sleep now, my Daniel."
~Fin~