Trowa awoke later that morning to an empty bed. He could tell Heero was not in the apartment without having to look. That presence was gone. He sighed and rolled over onto his side, hugging a pillow close and tucking it under his chin. His green eyes stared into oblivion as he thought of what had occurred. His body still ached from the encounter, but in a way that satisfied him and made him lust for more. His body shivered unconsciously as he remembered how gentle and loving Heero had been. How those lips had caressed his skin like warm rain...

He tried not to think about it as he got out of the bed and took a quick shower. He wondered where Heero had gone. /He probably couldn't stand to look at me after how I acted... He probably won't be back until after I leave./ His hands slithered down his body, remembering how Heero had touched him, wanting it to happen again. His teeth gritted in vexation. Why was his body on fire?

 

---

 

Heero looked up at the frozen sky and lifted his face to the cold wind. His hands tightened around the brown paper bag that he held. It was starting to snow again. His gaze of Prussian blue focused on the clouds, and he stopped on the sidewalk in front of his apartment complex. It still had the quiet of a winter atmosphere surrounding it.

He could see Trowa's car parked on the curb, so he knew the boy was still there. It would do no good to stall. Yes, he did want to see Trowa again, and that was why he thought to avoid him... He had to come to terms with himself. When he looked at the silent boy sleeping beside him, face peaceful and body naked and soft to the touch, he felt weak and would lose control of his emotions. That was the reason he had gone for a walk. He needed to think without that beautiful body so close to him. So within his reach.

The bag made a crisp rustling sound against him as he made his way inside and out of the cold. His nose was numb and began to burn when the warm air hit it. His hands tingled inside the gloves.

With a deep breath, he opened the door to the apartment and walked in. Trowa was sitting on the couch reading a book, dressed in a cream colored sweater and snug jeans. He didn't look up as Heero came in. In fact, he seemed to start reading even harder.

"Has your electricity been turned back on?" he asked as he went to the kitchen and set his bag on the table.

Trowa nodded. "I thought I would go once I thanked you."

"Thanked me for what?" he asked truthfully. He hadn't been the best host ever, and the sex had probably been better for himself that for Trowa...

"For everything."

They both knew what he meant by that.

"You are such a good person, Heero."

Heero snorted in disbelief. "I think that's the second time you have mentioned that."

Trowa averted his gaze and grabbed his coat, draping it over one arm. "Thank you Heero." He walked quickly to the entrance and picked up his bag, then opened the door.

Heero had a silent war within himself. Making a quick decision, he placed a hand on the door before Trowa could get through it. The boy stopped and looked at him in mild surprise. His hand was still on the knob, but he waited to hear what Heero had to say.

"You don't want to talk about it?" he asked in a murmur.

"I... no." He looked out the window instead of into those haunting sapphire depths.

Heero kept his hand on the door. He wasn't going to let Trowa get away that easily. "I think we need to talk about it."

"What is there to talk about?" the boy said, growing a bit defensive. "We both know what happened."

"I know what happened, but I don't know why."

Trowa looked down at his hand, which still rested on the knob. "Because I wanted sex."

The answer slightly got to Heero. Trowa was obviously regretting it. But why? Because he thought it was all his own fault, or because there had been more attachments involved than he thought there would be? Heero himself had not expected to feel the things he had. Physical pleasure was not the only player in the game they had created. When he looked at Trowa sleeping beside him, wrapped in his embrace and clinging to him like a lost child, he felt his facade melting like liquid. Everything he had worked so hard to achieve through his training was ripped away from him.

"Then why are you regretting it?"

Trowa sighed and let go of the handle. "I don't want you to think that I used you."

"But didn't you?" Heero asked cautiously. "Didn't you use me for your own reasons, just as I used you?"

"I suppose that would be true..." he began.

"And didn't you feel satisfied afterwards? I know I did." He smiled gently and pushed against the door, closing it. "I've never felt fully sated until this morning."

"What do you mean?"

Heero thought for a moment as he stepped closer to Trowa. Those emerald orbs widened as they gazed directly into his own. "I mean that, at least for one moment, the silence inside me was filled with your music."

"Heero... I..."

"I know." He closed the gap between them.

"Why are you saying all this to me?" They both knew that three years ago Heero would not have admitted to anything of this emotional value.

"I'm tired of living alone in this silent apartment. I'm tired of wondering if I will die living the way I do now." His eyes softened. "Like you said, time manipulates your heart."

Trowa dropped his satchel and his coat, not caring where they landed, and wrapped his arms around the young man's neck. Heero returned the embrace, encircling the boy's waist with his strong arms, and running his lips along the smooth outline of his neck. There were no kisses, just sweet caresses of lips against soft skin.

He shuddered and brought Heero closer. It was like the most powerful tease. Heero's lips were against him but they weren't kissing, leaving him burning inside with desire and need.

"I brought us some breakfast," the Japanese man said in a whisper.

"I'm not that hungry," he said back in a rusty voice.

"Hm, me neither, but it's only healthy." His lips brushed against his ear and jaw line.

"Alright then."

Reluctantly letting go of Heero, he was led to the kitchen. Heero pulled a packet of donuts of assorted varieties out of the bag and tossed it to him. Trowa caught it and stared at him silently. So the young man had let a little exploration enter his life. A smile touched his lips as Heero placed some salt and pepper on the table.

They both recognized this as a joke, and Trowa found himself laughing with unrestrained amusement. Heero watched him for a moment, smiling, before approaching him and cupping his head in both hands. His eyes were warm as they gazed into him.

"You're so beautiful when you smile," he said to him gently before kissing him on the lips.

It was such a benevolent kiss that Trowa could do nothing but stare into Heero's eyes as it happened. It was like a sweet wind upon his lips, caressing and exploring and soothing with its burning, whispering touch. His eyes eventually closed as the kiss deepened, and his hands found their way on their own into his lover's dark hair. Heero's warm body pressed ever so lightly into him, undemanding, as if asking for permission to proceed.

"Heero, donuts are not a healthy breakfast," he whispered in his ear as he threw them on the table. "It would be better just to skip it."

"Hn."

His fingers weaved themselves into Heero's hair and clutched lightly. "Or we could just have a much bigger meal..." Emphasizing his words, he kissed Heero deep and hard, using his tongue in ways he never knew he could.

Heero definitely got the picture. His hands slid down to squeeze the boy's small round flank. He remembered being inside the boy just hours before, but already it seemed like years since he had last felt Trowa surround him with hot walls, smelled the sweet scent of his sex, or seen the glazed look of lust and pleasure in his eyes. Looking down at him with a dangerously seductive expression, he pressed him up against the table and leaned over him, sliding a thigh between his legs and rubbing into the hardness that was already forming.

Shocked at the sudden movement, Trowa merely parted his lips in a gasp. Heero was quick to claim his open mouth, darting his tongue inside, exploring him and tasting him more thoroughly than he had before. The steaming pocket of wet flesh welcomed him with its plush texture and steaming temperature.

Trowa sighed and bucked his hips into Heero's. The young man's muscular thigh moved between his own.

"Heero, shouldn't we take this to the bedroom?" he whispered.

"Hn." Heero gathered him into his arms and prepared to carry him, grabbing something out of the bag as he did so. He was surprised when Trowa wrapped long, graceful legs around his waist and buried his head into his shoulder. Holding his light body close, he carted him to the bedroom, laying him down in the soft mattress and kissing him tenderly.

"Heero," he murmured, still able to smell their earlier encounter in the sheets.

"I want you, Trowa." His lips were wet and urgent as they kissed on his neck. "I want you..."

Those words made Trowa moan with desire. He tilted his head back in order to give Heero access to the smooth skin of his neck. His lips parted in soft sighs, and he was quick to remove his shirt as Heero pulled it up. His slender torso was soon left naked to the young Japanese man's gaze. The appreciation in those eyes almost made him groan with self gratification.

Heero kissed all over Trowa's slender torso and nipped at his navel with gentle teeth. It was Trowa's turn for a little worshipping. His tongue laved its way down the middle of his abdomen, licking and caressing, until he met the waistline of his jeans. He looked up at the boy through a frosted, glassy stare and reached up to squeeze his crotch with circular motions. This made him moan loudly, and he lifted his hips off the bed in order to let Heero take them off.

Trowa felt the cool air hit his naked skin as his pants and underwear were pulled off, being thrown casually in the floor along with his sweater. He hadn't noticed how hard he was, or how much nectar he had spilled over the throbbing crown of his manhood. It was amazing what the perfect soldier did to him. His eyes snapped open wide when he felt Heero's tongue lapping at his slit, and he let out a shuddering breath of pleasure. It wasn't long before Heero had the whole thing in his mouth, and was sucking him like the sweetest candy. Hot suction moved down his length and slid back up again, encasing the head and teasing it with a rough tongue.

"Heero...." he whispered again, his head thrown back and his hands tangled in the young soldier's hair. "I want you now... so bad... please..."

Heero leaned back up and kissed him deeply. Trowa set to work ripping off his clothes in a frenzied pace of lust. They soon lay as a pile on the floor.

"I want it now... oh god Heero..." he breathed between kisses as a slick finger probed his entrance. "When did you get lubrication?" he asked in surprise.

Heero chuckled bemusedly. "I picked it up when I bought the other things," he said slyly, sliding the digit all the way in and massaging Trowa's smooth walls, loosening him up and giving him pleasure.

They made love in the quiet of afternoon, their moans like music in the once silent atmosphere. Heero's touches were tender but demanding, while Trowa's were hurried and less than gentle. Naked skin slipped in perspiration and lathered between their straining bodies as they moved against one another to a desperate rhythm. The pace was hard and unrelenting, Heero keeping it steady and making sure to hit his lover's sweet spot with every thrust. Every trained stroke brought them both closer to orgasm.

Trowa felt like he exploded when it finally reached him. Liquid passion glistened in natural light of the sun, and he threw his head back as he let out a series of involuntary comments. He wasn't aware of anything he said, only knew that he was saying something as his body shuddered and convulsed in delicious flutters of pleasure. His heart raged in his ears and his blood thrummed through every vein like hot lava.

Heero watched Trowa come and heard him say those words. Not one second had passed before he felt himself fall over the edge of pleasure. He spiraled into the abyss of lust and whispered words of love in Trowa's ears, kissing them and brushing across them with his lips as his essence filled him. His voice fairly dripped with honesty as he promised eternal protection, eternal love...

When it was all over, they both lay panting in their sweaty embraces, hearts thumping wildly like a thousand drums. Blood sang in every extremity and exhaustion labored their breath. Heero drew Trowa as close to him as was possible and held him strongly.

"I... that was..." Trowa began, unable to describe what he had felt.

Heero groaned and ran a hand through his silky hair. "It was beyond amazing."

They said nothing for a while, both content in merely lying there and listening to each other breathe.

It was Heero who finally broke the silence. "Why didn't it work out with Quatre?" he asked. He felt Trowa tense in his arms and wondered if he had asked the wrong thing.

"He... didn't understand the darkness inside me, Heero. Not like you do." He ran his fingers idly down his chest and sighed. "I loved him, and a part of me always will, but..."

"But you need someone who knows what it's like to feel empty," Heero finished for him.

Trowa looked up at him and smiled warmly. "Yeah."

"Don't worry about it anymore, Trowa. Ai shiteru."

Hearing those words escape Heero's lips shocked Trowa like nothing else. "You love me?"

"I say nothing that is unnecessary."

"But why? How? When?" It wasn't that he didn't believe the young man. The stern seriousness in those bejeweled orbs was enough answer for him. But he couldn't understand how.

"Why? Because you are beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate. You have a compassion that I will never be able to own, and for that fact I treasure you. As for the question of `how', I don't know. All I know is that I feel something for you that I have never felt with anyone else. Your single touch makes me ache inside." His gaze was intrigued and mysterious as they assessed the boy beside him. "And I think I've loved you since the first time I saw you smile all those years ago. It just took time for my heart to thaw."

Trowa blinked back a flood of tears and lifted his hand to brush delicate fingers over Heero's face. "This all seems like some wonderful dream."

Heero smiled and brought the boy against him once more. "It's not a dream," he murmured, kissing him hard and passionately.

"Heero, what did I say when I came?" he asked innocently.

The Japanese boy chuckled and kissed his forehead. "Ai shiteru, Heero. Itsumademo."

"I did?!" His eyes widened in astonishment, and he rested his head back on the pillows to think about it calmly. "Well, I say nothing that is unnecessary either," he admitted after a few moments of silence.

"Hm, good. Because I'm going to hold you up to that promise. Forever is a long time you know." His gaze softened, and he gathered the boy against him like some teddy bear. "Now, I haven't slept since very early this morning, and you did wear me out." His tone was slightly teasing.

"Ah, Heero. Then get some sleep." He snuggled deeply into his chest and sighed with contentment. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"Itsumademo."

Notes: Itsumademo means "forever". Ai shiteru means "I love you." ^_^