Rage Coalescence: "Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open." -- Natalie Goldberg
The days pass by in a welter of longing for the clear blue skies in both your eyes and the --
Okay, I'm taking the punch as a given.
I owe you an apology. I've...
Perception. Reality. Reality is never as flexible as we may wish it to be, but it can be twisted in the mind. Twisted enough to be *perceived* as more pleasant than it actually is.
And so I can open a letter to you with just a "Clark," and picture...
Well.
In any case. I will endeavor to do a little better.
I've also taken a few liberties with Mr. Sullivan's schedule which should prove satisfactory to everyone except for my father, which, of course, just puts an extra shine on the day.
Gabe's new executive assistant should appreciate his promotion -- are you familiar with the Wilson family? Anything I should know? I have the files, but I miss the local touch -- and he'll be able to do quite a bit of the traveling my father's been dumping on the man.
How is Pete? What's he working on? I'm going to assume Chloe's fine. As long as she has the opportunity to poke into the lives of others... I do wonder if she'd ever consider a career as a private investigator...
What do you think? Is it the thrill of the chase? Or her name on the byline?
Please don't tell me anything more about Ms. Potter's clothes.
It's raining here. I'm going to go walking soon, before it turns into one of those disappointing drizzles that just make it impossible for you not to smell the city, and everyone in it. Insert mindless advertising catchphrase for the cleaning product of your choice here.
I'm thinking about how flat Smallville is, and wondering if the wind is making this storm more severe, more of an *event* than it is here.
I'd like that. Storms tend to bring things to a head, don't you think?
If I didn't have the quarterlies to prepare, I'd drive down just to see.
And yes, to visit.
This Saundra person... women like men who'll let them whine extensively. Sometimes they like them so much crowbars and industrial lubricant are required to shake them loose. Still, though, that doesn't have to be a *bad* thing.
As for religion...
Only enough for public consumption, Clark. I spent a good portion of my childhood as an atheist, then as a noncognitivist, then as an agnostic. Just lately, though... I don't know.
Sometimes I think it would be nice to have something to believe in, something greater than everything else, something to fall *back* on, if nothing else.
My father would doubtlessly expect me to commit ritual suicide for that statement, and it wasn't so long ago that I would've agreed with him.
But then, my father's wrong about quite a few things, isn't he?
Lex.
Music: Don't give me songs... give me something to sing about...
Here are Jayne's interesting thoughts/questions about futurefic in SV fandom, and how some of us seem to have a kink for twisting things around a bit. To wit: Clark's the Big Bad. Jenn takes it much, much further than I have with "A Handful of Dust," but I can't say I haven't gone there in my head at least. And, well, there are a few reasons why. In no particular order:
1) I have a kink for it. Specifically, I have a kink for antagonistic relationships where corrosion, corruption serves the cause of the kind of love your therapist warned you about. The kind of love where nothing else matters at all, where the whole word can burn so long as you can taste your lover in the midst of the ashes. Passion that feeds on the will to power. I could go on about this, but I'd rather write about it. *g* In SV, Lex is already corrupted. The trick, the *challenge* is to do the same to Clark.
2) Well, it *is* a challenge. Can I make this believable? Can I pull you into my world? Can I tilt your moral view, if just for the length of the story?
3) Michael is a brilliant actor. So brilliant that he conveys every subtle nuance of character in a matter of eyeblinks. Welling isn't a block of wood, but... again, the challenge is there. Reconcile what we know from a season of Clark to fifty years of DC canon.
4) *Possibility*. My God, I've never been as big a fan of the Superman line as I've been of other comics, but I can tell you this: this Clark is already much, much shadier than all the official Clarks that have come before. Think of his rage in Rogue. His near-selfish hunger as he went to kiss Lana on Nell's porch. The casual lies. There's a darkness in him. A seed well worth exploration. And I've never been the kind of girl who'd let that sort of thing pass. We have the opportunity to rewrite a genuine American myth, and the possibilities make me *drool*. Granted, it's a very, *very* small seed, considering -- but then we're talking about the kid who's supposed to become Earth's Greatest Hero. Add to that my own endlessly blithered philosophies about fan fiction... well.
5) On the Sympathetic!Lex angle... for me, it's his protectiveness. He's pretty much a Mama Bear when it comes to the Kents, and a *rabid* Mama Bear when it comes to Clark specifically. I think that could lead to one hell of a blind spot, and I played it that way in Past Grief. He doesn't realize/doesn't let himself realize that he's creating a little sociopath in the name of "protecting" his lover, and it's a possibility I can see. If Lex could, he'd repay Clark in every way imaginable for saving him. Including those ways that would destroy them both.
Also, *unlike* Clark, Lex has had a very good example of how not to behave. He knows full well what evil is, he understands it far better than Clark can at this point in his life. I think there are some lessons that can only be learned the hard way. And, as above, some bitter harvests can be reaped from overprotectiveness -- in this case, the Kents'. I see Clark coming into his powers and gradually becoming more and more desperate for *order*. Having a lot in common with Willow, actually... but that's another story I really ought to write.
There's a lesson to be learned in the fact that Superman was originally envisioned as a *villain*, after all. Another in all those shivery Nietzschean overtones -- something I think Lex would fight instinctively, if only to avoid becoming his father.
You could at least sound shocked. I seduced a member of the clergy. I'm reasonable sure it was a mortal sin for at least one of us.
I mean, I know you're not Catholic, but still.
I'm soothing myself with the thought that you probably blushed while you read it. If you didn't, I don't want to know.
What crops are you thinking about adding? Anything I can help with?
To answer your question, I'm bored to... well, not tears, per se. And it's not as though my father isn't doing his level best to keep me busy, but...
Do you remember when I told you about some of my father's reasons for wanting me back here in the first place? Well, they're still the same. I *could* go clubbing and presumably do so without death and destruction following in my wake -- this is your cue to laugh, Mr. Kent -- but I think I might be too old for it.
That, however, was *not* your cue to laugh.
There's only so much of that sort of thing you can do before you've done it all twice. And if you can actually *remember* that you've done it before, then it's time to stop.
Oh, Christ, I'm boring myself.
So I visited the priest.
That was boring, too.
I felt guilty. I feel the need to stress that -- I felt *guilty* -- so I consented to be prayed over for two hours, thirty-four minutes, and twenty-seven seconds. There was a lot of kneeling. And chanting. I paid no attention to his erection. I did *not* laugh.
I think he felt better.
The reason why Chloe's father is getting called to Metropolis all the time is because my father feels the need to make him suffer. Or, rather, to see how much *I* suffer for appointing him to run the plant in my absence, as opposed to someone hand-picked by Lionel himself.
I've spoken to Gabe about it, and he seemed to be doing fine, though I understand he wouldn't necessarily tell his nominative employer everything.That's where you come in. Think of it as an early education in industrial espionage.
Hmm... business is business, summer movies make me wonder why on earth ground mammals developed opposable thumbs as opposed the aquatic ones -- would dolphins come up with Adam Sandler? Could they? -- and yes, I'll visit as soon as I can.
Nothing intelligent, but I'm in the lounge again. The French Doors to the cold, windy ledge are closed. The lounge is warm and toasty, the champagne is flowing, and life is *good*. I'm thinking, of course, of the bowtie scene.
Jenn listed her Canon Building CLex stories a little while ago, and since viewing Tempest, I think shalott's Better should be added to the list. It just... yeah. If anything? That scene was *more* hopeful than the story. So pour me a flute and dance with me, baby. Life is sweet, love is beautiful, and tomorrow?
... here. Content some viewers may find disturbing. Some nudity. Not nearly enough. Again, take what you want, just let me know where if you're going to put it up on a site. If you just wanna play with it, that's cool. Comments are always welcome.
Music: And I'm the reason that you're standing still...
Confidential to Kita: Argh. Dunno if I have the brainpower to resurrect the points we made. Gimme a few days?
Did NOTHING today. Well, that's not true. I just didn't *finish* anything today. Added some new icons to the icon page, and fucked about with Ultimate Paint for hours and hours and hours and HOURS.
I like this. It looks like I meant what I was doing. *snerk*
